Thursday, November 8, 2007

Unexpected Death

I was struggling to figure out what to blog about today. I always write about happy things, but I finally decided that today I was supposed to write about what was tugging on my heart. Yesterday, Mike called me to let me know that a member had passed away. She was about my age, and left her husband with two small children to raise alone. Right after I talked to him, I watched the Memorial service for the 6 USC students who died in the fire in a Ocean Isle beach house. This morning I received an e-mail about a benefit in Illinois for a girl's children. She was married to a friend of mine, and she was raped and brutally murdered. The night before Thanksgiving will mark a year since my brother's unexpected death. This month will also mark a year since my first miscarriage. I have prayed to understand unexpected death. I am not scared of death because I know I have a place in heaven, but I don't understand unexpected death. As my niece said when her father passed away, "People say to me that it was just his time to go. I have a really hard time with that. Was it really his time to go?" Maybe in our grief we become selfish about our own pain and how it would be easier on us if we had the chance to say goodbye. I don't know. I just know that it brings so much hurt and sadness to people when they aren't expecting a loved one to die. I don't understand murder or tragedies like a house fire that kills 7 college students or a mother being taken from her small children or miscarrying when you want a child so badly. Really? Was it really their time to die? I also don't understand a mother having to lose a child before they pass on. It's just not the natural order of life. My heart hurts for my mother, and I know this Thanksgiving is going to be a rough one for our whole family. Life is so fragile and so precious. We often get so caught up in our busy lives that we forget to tell people that we love them. You truly never know how 1 second can change your life. I always tell my husband that I love him before he leaves for work, and I always tell him I love him when I kiss him goodnight. I want him to know if anything were to happen to either one of us during the day or while we sleep at night that he was loved by me. I try to tell my family that I love them everytime that I talk to them. Many times I tell my friends that I love them when I hang up the phone from a good conversation with them. I need to work on telling them more often. I first started thinking about this when I began working as a flight attendant. 9-11 really hit home too. I was supposed to fly that day. Instead, I watched the events unfold on television and called everyone in my address book to tell them that I loved them. You never know what can happen. I don't understand unexpected death, but I WILL try to let my friends and family know that I love them.

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41 comments:

Melody said...

Wow, what a touching post. I'm so sorry to hear about the unexpected death. My husband's good friend was killed not too long ago. He was 33 years old and left a loving wife with 3 kids aged 7, 4 and 7 months. Horrible to think about. Makes me cherish everyday even more and more and more and more. Thank you for your post.

Amy said...

I think things like this touch us all. My brother's best friend was killed in a car wreck about a month ago. My brother was visiting him and decided to leave early, so he took a cab home. He was 26. Matt was taken way too early, but the fact my brother probably would have been in the car if he weren't so tired was even more frightening. It makes our "big" problems such small potatoes...Thanks for your post today!

Pennies In My Pocket AKA Melody said...

Hi again ... I found you from another blog, but I can't remember which one! LOL I randomly went to one blog by hitting "next blog" and then clicked on your link that was listed on that blogger's favorite blogs. OK, did I say "blog" enough times in that last sentence??? hahaha

Just Another Day In Paradise said...

What a beautiful post. I too have gone through miscarriages and the loss of my mom when she had a heart attack. It is hard to understand. Sometimes down the road we will get some answers but sometimes we don't. It is a comfort to know that I'm not in control and God is but sometimes you just want to know why. I agree with you that we can't take any of our days for granted and to cherish all of our blessings everyday!

Terri said...

That was a great post. We can't always write about happy things because we aren't always happy. We have to write what's on our hearts. I also had a miscarriage and other problems when I was pregnant. It's hard. Even 16 years later, I know the date - Feb. 1 although it doesn't hurt that much anymore. The death of my Mom was really hard because it was so sudden. I wished I had told her I loved her when she left my house the night before. Cheri was right in saying - God is in control and although we don't always understand His plan, it helps to know that He does know. I'll be praying for you during this difficult month.

Dena said...

Sweetie - what a great post! What tragedies! How sad - death is always hard - I LOVE YOU!!!!

Mari said...

You brought tears to my eyes with this post. I think many of us have ben touched by unexpected death and it never is easy. I agree that God does know best, although we sure can't see it at times. Thanks for sharing your heart. I'll be praying for you throughout this hard month.

The Birds Nest said...

Honey, what a heart felt message. I love you and want this to be noted and not forgotten. We have seen our struggles with our families and friends, but we know how they have all gone to a more needed and special place. I know after you tell me that you love me, it rests my heart, until I get back near you and I reach my special place "Next to You". Great blog today. Luv-Daddy

Cathy said...

Death is always the most difficult part of life, but there is such joy in knowing we have a Father above who can wipe away all the pain and sadness with the touch of His hand. How fortunate to have the knowledge that He never leaves us, no matter what life brings. And besides, how would we ever know joy without sorrow?

Buffie said...

I completely agree with what Cathy said..so glad you posted this. We truly are human and can't be happy 24-7, so glad you don't pretend to be!! My thoughts are with you. God truly does have a specific plan for each of us and we have no idea what that is. One day, we will understand. Until then, you can take comfort in that fact.!! God loves you!!!

Anonymous said...

First of all I'd like to say thats a lovely post, and as I scrolled down I was thinking I must write to this, then I noticed that you posted it on 8/11/07, this is the day that I watched my 47 year old mum die from a stroke. She had been in hospital, brain dead for 4 days and this was to be her last. I know how heartbreaking it is to lose someone so sudden, and I know that I will never come to terms with it. I am a social work student and just now I'm studying death... well a lot hits home, many people believe there is a certain way to deal with death.. I believe we are all unique individuals. Can I also please say, 'I love you' are just 3 words. 3 words that you can buy written on a card, or on a teddy, I never once told my Mum I loved her, until she took a stroke, but the sort of love we shared can never be written on a card, nor anywhere else, it is written in our hearts and memories, and only she knows how much I really do love her, the things we done together, that no one else ever done with her show how much I love her and the things I do in the future will show my Mum how much I love her. My grandparents are one of those to outlive their children, they had 3 girls, my mum and her 2 sisters, one of those sisters was killed aged 21, my family are loving generous people with hearts of gold, so why them? Why me? I have been bad in the past, what teenager hasn't... but to have my mum taken from me when I was 20.. I didn't deserve it... she didn't deserve it, her life was just beginning and we had the best relationship. I don't know if I believe goes for a reason but I do know one thing, this has made me stronger, it's made me who I am today and I know that I am someone special, talented, bright and a kind hearted person, I thank my Mum for that, through her life, and her death.

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